I'm too scared to love you.

When I was a little bit younger,
I was pretty sweet.
My eyes, one day, had colour.
My heart, once, had hapiness.
My mind, in this age, was bright.

Now I'm like an old and poor version of me.
So many scars;
So many pain;
Draining me away.

When I was a little bit younger, I sure could trust in you.
But I'd trusted in a guy before,
He cheated on me,
Smashed my heart,
And I promised,
In that day,
Darling,
This won't happen to me anymore.

I'm sorry
I'm not
The girl you deserve.

I cannot
smile
anytime
you
want.

I cannot
handle
with you past
(neither with mine).

When you talk about your others
girls
passions
limerences
lovers
my heart is like crushed again.
The pain,
that once I thought "one day will go away"
returns
again.
And again.
And again.

I'll never be
like a redhead girl
or a smiler like the J
or a physics like the A.

I'll never be
a dumbass
reading a paper
just to see a dress.
(And I do like dresses, you know, I know).

Today when I told you
"you are one of the reasons I'm here"
what I didn't tell
is that you are not the only
you are not the first
you are not the last
'cause
when I put a guy like you
smart
pretty
and soft
in this place
one time
in future
or past
my heart
- invariably -
will be broken
like a cup of glass.